Sunday 17th February 2008 - Have I Just Done A Britney?

OK, I start this latest blog a little worried at the state of my mental health, why I hear you ask, simple as the demise of the pop princess began to cataclismically (big word for a Sunday morning aint it) spiral out of control with the rather simple act of shaving her own head - something which as of this morning I am now a season ticket holder of also.

Yes the normal take on a Scotsman is that they're a tight bar-steward and won't pay a penny to have a pee when there's a perfectly good bush beside said urinal, but in my case it comes down to the fact that my one experience of a hairdresser over here in Germany left me wondering if it was a hairdresser shop that was being used as a front by some middle eastern paramilitary group, and as such had no idea of how to manipulate a clipper and pair of scissors in such a fashion as to perform a "haircut".

So, I took the bull by the horns (or if you want honesty - the starting to go grey mop of hair on the top of my head) and acquired myself a shiny new set of clippers made by Mr Remington himself, or one of his 40,000 employees working in a sweatshop somewhere in a dimly lit back alley in China. Now for those of you who are frequent flyers in the bap-shaving fanclub this probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but for someone who's only experience of a set of clippers is when they're to be found in the hand of a professionally trained sculptor of hair (preferably female with big knockers too, but this is just wishful thinking) this was going to be a big deal.

So this morning it was D-day, and with the alarm kicking in to the sounds of local German radio station WDR playing Purple Rain in my bedroom I decided that it was time to fall out of bed and get the gear ready...

HEAD - check
CLIPPERS - check
BRUSH AND PAN - check
MIRROR - check
SANITY - minor malfunction in the engine room

Thankfully after spending 10mins zipping uncle Remy's finest lawnmower over my noggin in every available direction 17 times I decided that I had finally carried out my first DIY haircut, and I'll tell you what - I'm quite happy with it too, so now I have 8 euro that would have been spent on a possible member of Al Queda's "exploding jacket fund" still in my pocket and I think it's only right that I use it to go buy myself a couple of beers to celebrate my induction into the self-chop community.

So, from someone who looks like they've been too drunk when at the local bowling alley and fell head first into the bowling ball cleaning machine I say goodbye for now.

Until next time...Ciao!

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